ArMy GaL

it had been a memorable 3 weeks... full of ups and downs, like a rollercoaster ride... the main thing is that I got to deal with the choice of my vocation and i really cant make up my mind. you know how bloody hard it is to choose when you are only 19 and what you choose will affect at least ten years of your life??? i wanna die whenever I think of that... and when i tot i would stick to navy when i chose it, i had a gut feeling that it is not wat i want. it's like when i board the landing ship tank, i dun feel this sense of pride and interest, somehow... the nice mess and the comfortable bunks but is that what that will fulfill me? LST has chefs to cook the most delicious meals for the crew, but is that what i'm looking for?

and the two days spent at mids wing gave me an idea of how is it like to be in the navy... getting used to working with fewer pple, conducting colours and sunset ceremony everyday, sleeping late, studying and having more freedom and less regiments... i had a great culture shock i must say but what bothers me the most is that is this life truly what i want? i dun mean what i witnessed at the mids wing but the life as a sailor... then somehow, i dunno if it's madness or sanity that drove me to pick up the phone-- and ask for revocation back to army... perhaps i still dunno if it's the right choice but it is surely the choice i want...

for one thing is that i'm a very active person... the long hours of lectures dun really appeal to me... it's kinda stifling... the family factor, the part about having to sail for a long period of time... but most of all... the compelling reason is that i wanna make a difference... whether to the other females out there as i'm joining guards or to the men i am going to lead... it is like being a teacher but here i'll go thru what they do, the sweat, so i'll be in a better position to sympathize with how they feel... i have the passion for army! grant me the strength...